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You Waved Back at Someone Waving Behind You: How Do You Escape?

Someone across the room waved, so you waved back with your whole heart, and then you realized they were waving at the person right behind you. Your hand is still up and everyone saw it. Eighteen escape plans enter, only one survives the cringe. Vote for the smoothest, silliest way to rescue that raised arm.

18 choices · 5 rounds · 14 byes

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My hand was already up near my head, so sliding it into a smooth, shampoo-commercial hair flip is basically the laws of physics helping me out. Nobody questions a person fixing their hair, and I will toss in a little head shake so it looks like I meant to be glamorous all along.

There is always a bird somewhere, and birds deserve friendly greetings just as much as people do. I will keep waving, squint up at a tree, and whisper "bye, Gerald" so convincingly that everyone starts looking for him too.

One arm up is half a stretch, so I just add the other arm, a giant yawn, and a satisfied groan like I just woke up from a nap. Stretching is healthy, normal, and impossible to argue with, so I am basically a fitness role model now.

If I wave with total confidence, both arms and a big smile, people will start to think I know something they do not. Eventually the person waves back just to be polite, and congratulations, I have made a brand new friend through pure stubbornness.

A sudden bee is the perfect excuse, because nobody ever asks to see the bee. I will flail, duck, spin once, and announce "he's gone, everybody stay calm," and suddenly I am the hero of the hallway.

If I wave at the person behind me as well, it looks like I am just a super friendly person greeting everybody in a big welcoming loop. Now we are all waving at each other like a parade, and parades are never awkward.

My arm is already up, so I simply turn my wrist, stare at it seriously, and say "wow, already?" even though I am not wearing a watch. Busy, important people check the time constantly, and now I am one of them with somewhere urgent to be.

The moment I point up and say "Whoa," every single head turns to the sky and forgets I ever waved. While they search for the UFO, blimp, or extremely cool cloud, I quietly walk away and let the mystery live forever.

Two can play this game, so I lock eyes with the empty space behind them and wave even more warmly. Now it looks like they misunderstood me, which is honestly the most beautiful plot twist of my entire week.

I am simply doing a quick shoulder check, like a pitcher warming up before the big game. I will rotate it a few times, nod like the doctor would be pleased, and say "yep, still works" to absolutely nobody.

A gentle side-to-side wave looks exactly like someone drying freshly painted nails, so I just blow on my fingertips and admire them. Nobody interrupts a person mid-manicure, and I will act shocked when they ask what color it is.

My hand was clearly rising to catch a sneeze, which is polite, hygienic, and exactly what our teachers taught us. One loud "ah-choo," a sniffle, and everyone is saying "bless you" instead of remembering the wave.

A raised hand is only one tiny bend away from a crisp, respectful salute. I will snap it to my forehead, nod with great honor, and march off like I just finished an important mission.

I pull out my phone, say "I see you, I'm waving right now," and suddenly my wave was for a friend on video call the whole time. Nobody can check who is on the other end, so my imaginary friend Dave gets the credit.

There is always a window, a shiny trophy case, or a car door nearby, and that person in it looks fantastic today. Waving at myself is just good self-esteem, and I will give my reflection a thumbs-up for extra confidence.

My hand is up, so clearly I was going for a high-five, and the air is always ready to celebrate with me. I will slap it loudly, say "yes!" like I just won something, and leave everyone wondering what amazing news I got.

If I lower my hand slowly enough, nobody will notice it moving at all, like the minute hand on a clock. It might take forty-five minutes, but I am patient, and eventually my arm will simply be down like it was never up.

Some moments are too awkward for any human to recover from, and the only true fix is a new passport and a fresh start. I will learn a new language, open a little bakery somewhere sunny, and never, ever wave at anyone again.

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